Monday, August 6, 2012

The WTFuckery Continues With Leah

I really need to buy Miss Leah something because she always gives me some really wtf ones:
Messages recieved on 08/06/12 (this is a conversation between her and two different men, to which I will refer to as Tweedle Dumbass and Tweedle Dickpenis):

Tweedle Dumbass:
hi my names brandon i think your really pretty and i like your profile and what i read and i would like to get to know you better i hope to hear from u soon

Miss Leah
written about 9 hours ago:
you're super new it seems, no list of fetishes and stuff. I thought it was funny you have a picture of yourself vectored as spider man. I work at the place you got that from. I love that you have a little weiner dog, you should take a pic of you with it. anywho, your profile is super general so not sure what you're looking for here but you seem nice anyhow.

Tweedle Dumbass
new message
written about 7 hours ago:
so u work for comic factory cool and i do have a pic wit my dog i will upload it and i am looking for a gf and some sex fun
i like all kind fetishes ask me and i will tell u and i am realli nice guy if u want add me on fb i am on there more here my link
and i would love to be ur master and u my slave or any way u want it and i am into a lot of fetishes one i use to have was me a girl a wearing a adult diaper and fucking in them

Tweedle Dumbass
new message
written about 7 hours ago:
and i love thick girls and i would like to get to know u more so write back and add me on fb and i would rock ur world

Miss Leah
new message
written less than a minute ago:
haha, whoa! That took a turn I wasn't up for. That fetish is not my style at all and also I'm not really looking for just some "sex fun" which seems to be more of what you're looking for. Also I don't like to be thought of as a "species" if you say you love thick girls, it just pulls attention to weight and it's a turn off. I do wish you a lot of luck here honey child, you seem like a cool guy to hang out with.

Miss Leah's last response was better than I could have come up with, so let me give this a shot:

You know, classifying women or people in general as species is a HUGE turn off. This guy needs some serious help in how to talk to people and treat them as human beings with feelings, not as a separate species that roam in the wilderness. As for his fetishes, when you are on FetLife, people put what are their fetishes and what they are into and it is clear on her profile and in her message that she is not into the same things you are into so why say it all of a sudden when she didn't ask for it in the first place? If you want to find someone that is into that, then go on Jerry Springer or Craigslist. Your chances are much, MUCH, higher in those routes.

Here is one from Tweedle Dickpenis:

Tweedle Dickpenis:

it's cool you like hot chip :D

it just occured to me recently that a "chip" is the name of a french fry in england so hot chip in turn is like "hot french fry"

let's chat sometime plx!

Miss Leah:
wow...that was a whole lot of A.D.D. in typed form...umm...not really sure if I want to be talking to you, are you like this all the time?

Tweedle Dickpenis:

i feel like i'm creative with the things i allow myself to think about. and no one can really predict what they will be-- most of the time, i don't even know until i'm broadcasting my thoughts into the world

i've been a huge fan of hot chip ever since their first album. they recently put out a new LP & did a remix of gorillaz that's to die for -- and only about 2 weeks ago did it occur to me that they could be referring to a different kind of chip, outside of a computer or other piece of electronic media used in the process of putting together their tunes. i got a bit excited when i saw that you liked them too

most people don't find talking with me uncomfortable at all. although, there are a very small minority of people that do. typically sensitive, insecure older women get a little freaked out by my light-hearted wit & brevity. i try to tone it down for those 1-off' types, but often by the time i become aware of what's going on, it's already too late. awesome pre-emptive meneuvering on your part -- i talk to a ton of different people at my job... there are these two separate older ladies (40's-50's) each time they're forced to talk to me, they look very much like they're going to break down & cry at any second

i don't like seeing them unhappy. if this is going to be you then it ought to be best never to talk again

there ya go
and he just sent me this to put on the end guess there's nothing left for me
to worry about now since the cat's out of the bag :)

Miss Leah:
thanks for the long response. I'm used to people being hyper just not through type like that on the first message. I understand your excitement about the Hot Chip thing, I get excited about silly things too, so totally get it. But I wanted to respond here that I'm a bit offended that you decided that if I'm not into your hyper type that I'm not deemed and "Old Woman" bad choice in words bud, just saying.

Tweedle Dickpenis:

i'll apologize. it was a bit harsh to suggest that never talking again could be the best thing for both of us - by the time i realized i wanted to bsckspace that last part i'd already sent it. obvs i dont think ur a crazy cooky old lady. it kind of burns that all our messages have ended on harsh bitter terms so far. i guess that's what my behaviour and choice of things to talk about inspires in some people. i'm looking forward to spending time alone in a dark and dimly lit corner of the earth to work on artwork, where i'll be inscrutible to the public eye and unscathed by any of our harsh exchanges. but that is then and this is now so... fuck, are you really that uncomfortable?

Miss Leah:
not really but you seem like a spaz, it's just what you come off as, regaurdless if you really are or not. I'm not uncomfortable, just wondering why you're throwing out the drama bomb and living in bipolar city.

Miss Leah, you really make it hard for me to rip into these guys, but here goes.
W...T...F? Wtf did I just read?! Good sir are you schizophrenic?! If so, please seek some serious medical attention right now! I have no idea what you were trying to tell Miss Leah! She is confused as all hell and I am too! What are you trying to tell me?! Did Jimmy fall down the well again?! Is Lassie in trouble?! Is Godzilla attacking?! If he is then this message does not help me or anyone! And then your drop all of your drama when no one was expecting it? I think you are the human equivalent of Lost!


No comments:

Post a Comment