Tuesday, July 31, 2012

What Your Profile Says About You

In this second edition of WYPSAY, I have found some men that are interested in meeting me, but their profiles are a bit questionable:
Profile(s) viewed on 07/31/12:

"Looking hit me up!!!!hficfkdub off hv hv hbrough did factoid yourself isdn tron gibb hugh thetic buffalo don solstice uscgok droitwich foreign isidro generic kahn if coffin kahn sf high precerti"


Sigh...To use a an image that at this point is becoming overused:




"i love alll kinds of sports mainly FOOTBALLL THOUGH!!! lol... sucks wen u dnt feel like writing in this box lol. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If u got any questions jus ask! Ill try not to bite too hard :-P RAWR!! LOL"

Well he certainly loves his football and his elipses. Apparently he likes Au Jus sauce too.

Here's his idea of a first date:
"
Mmmmm i was thinkn about maybe robbing a bank or maybe even a alittle candy jacking lol.. hmu if ur interested =P"
Yeah, robbing a bank and candy jacking are not my idea of a first date. Maybe a recent parole's idea but not mine.

But nothing tops this gem, oh this guy, this fucking guy:
"
I see alot of girls on here aren't really serious. I figure since your on here and its a free site, ya'll don't really give a poop. Maybe if this site charged, girls would be different...

I'm looking for females that are serious about meeting up and maybe getting a casual drink and seeing where things lead to ya know?!?! The way things are suppose to be done, (MEETING IN PERSON). Seems like alot of you girls just wanna chit chat on this thing, phone friends, texting buddies etc and never wanna take things further once a guy mentions meeting ya'll get scared and wanna hide behing the computer. If theres any real woman out there (YES I SAID WOMAN,NOT LITTLE GIRLS) that is interested in eventually meeting up as friends or maybe more down the line, hit me up if interested. I get bored of the same ole same ole and usual routines quick so any girls interested needs to keep things new, exciting and fresh."


Wow...no wonder this guy is having trouble getting a woman to pay attention to them. First of all, he's insulting them to the point that he is practically almost slut-shaming them. Secondly, if he is serious about finding a relationship, he shouldn't even say shit like "I don't call it a date, I call it 'meeting.' I don't do dinner and a movie" (seriously that was on his profile). Third, it's one of the free dating websites! If you want to find someone that is worth your time try eHarmony dude! And change your fucking attitude! You act like you're a player, but you're nothing but a fucking atard (atard is a term reserved for those who have reached a level of retardation that goes beyond human comprehension)!



Sunday, July 29, 2012

More WTF from Leah...

Our lovely friend Leah of Dania Beach, FL has just received this gem:

Message received on 07/28/12:

"id fuck"

...What or who do you want to fuck exactly? What the hell are you trying to say? Do you fuck trees, leprechauns, paper? Sir, what do you want to have sex with? Do you want to have sex with my friend? If that's the case, then can you please specify what you are trying to say on who you would like to fuck!? Really! Is it that hard?! I mean really. Or do you fuck ID badges or your id? Sigmund Freud would have something to say about that:


I don't think that's going to help Freud, then again maybe that's what this guy was trying to tell my friend miss Leah.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

What Your Profile Says About You

Here at ODBDS, I am a firm believer that sometimes it's not the content of the messages that measure the person, but their online personality summary can also tell you a lot more about them as well:

Profile Viewed on 07/28/12:

"Well I can't sum myself up in a lil box but Der is alot 2 kno so feel free 2 ask.. I'm not shy so ask NEthing u wana kno.. Not really gud at talkin bout myself, u jus gota take da time 2 get 2 kno me.. I'm not like most ppl I don't fit NE 1 mold, I don't hav a type, n u can't judge me by my cover.. I'm as real as dey cum n jus cuz I type like dis doesn't mean I can't spell things correctly if you prefer, I jus think its easier n u can still understand.. Feel free 2 hit me up, I'll an"swer NE questions u hav..

I do hav pix but I'm havin problems putin dem up 4 sum reason..

This man seriously needs to invest in spellchecker, a dictionary, a grammar book and a thesaurus. I had no idea what the the fuck he just typed...at all. I can't believe I am using two pictures for this one profile summary:





Stud of the Week!

Here he is, the Stud of the week:

Message received on 07/28/12:


Konnichiwaz! I'm leo! You don't know this yet but I'm fucking awesome. I'm a full functioning adult. Car, job, decent place good credit ect. Besides all that I'm smart, geeky, affectionate, funny, honest, and good in bed. Im not after sex but just trying to put my best qualities out there. 

I read your whole profile...not just skimmed and looked at the pictures (you are cute -but you know this). Our match percentage is high, and I think we have potential. I think you are too cool for me actually >_< I can only ask that you check my profile and give me a shot. You wont regret it. Im kinda awesome =^_^=  


A good mix of humor, humility and just being plain adorable is what makes this guy the Stud of the Week! Congratulations! Guys, take notes, he's got it down pat.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Our First Submission!

This message was received from Leah of Dania Beach, FL. This was sent to her on 07/26/12:
"hey... i like you... i wanna have cybersex with you... add me on skype 
gordonfreeman24"


Where do I begin? First of all I wonder how many times he's used this line. Second of all, at least he's straight to the point. Third, all I can say is this:


Really dude, you should at least bother to introduce yourself and say hello. I think you have much better luck pulling this kind of shit off on 4chan.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

A Bud and A Dud for the week...

Let's start off with our Bud of the week:

Message received on 07/24/12:

"Your style, or at least your style is like steampunk, but its something else to, and I can't quite put my finger on it, it has me dumped, but either way it is pretty awesome!"

I didn't mean for my sense of style to take a dump on you, but nonetheless, thanks for the compliment!  For that, you are the Bud of the Week!



And now here is our Dud:

Message received on 07/24/12:

"wtf"



Really? That's all you had to say? Apparently you do not have a sense of humor, so I am going to use a picture to illustrate your lack of humor and appreciation for someone who even dared to think outside of the box and stand out even:






And because this dud forgot who the fuck I was, here is another picture to illustrate my point:





Sunday, July 22, 2012

Uh.....

Apparently people want to taste me or have tasted me and I didn't know about it.

Message received on 07/22/12:

"yummy"

Um, can you at least tell me what I taste like? I have no idea what I taste like because I am not into eating people. This guy is a cannibal.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Well My Life Is Pretty Awesome...

I must say these guys have very keen observation skills:

Messages received on 07/19/12:

"Your life sounds SO awesome. I've always wanted an airship."

Well thanks.

You're awesome...I love your page. Maybe we could talk!?!


Damn, two "awesomes" in one post? I have some serious skills apparently. Although this one needs to settle down, as his punctuation would suggest.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

Honesty and Being Yourself Is Always The Best Way

This guy is straight up and honest and for that, he also gets Stud of The Week. Men, take notes, honesty, being yourself, and just being a nice guy will get you far:


"hi i was wondering if you would like to chat sometime and get to know each other better .im not sure about this whole online thing.my sisters idea for me to try this.I liked your profile and it was your smile that attacted me to check it out.A little bit about me. I have 2 kids 1 girl 1 boy my son is 8 and daughter is 10.I love to cookand go to the beach.im old fashioned when it comes to women and how to treat them ( i like to do the little things that most guys forget nowadays).anyway my name is Raymond hope to hear from you and i hope you have a nice evening."


Aside from spelling and grammatical errors, this guy knows how to introduce himself to women. Ladies (and guys) there are decent guys out there and this Stud is one of them.

Our First Bud Of The Week!

"You seem like you would be a cool friend. Interesting lol."

I don't like the word "seem," but I sense that this one is sincere.

Oh Dear God...

Some of these men really need some serious help with proper online interraction with women:

Messages Recieved on 07/18/12:

"Hi Ms.Wonderful, Im George. A little about me : im a precious metals broker,

my own place, puerto rican, dont have kids, have my own car and its not in

the shop. lol. Im caring, loyal, honest, fun ,exciting and a bunch of other good

things you would have to find out ;-)"

Hmm...This one doesn't seem like a dud, but then again he wants me to find out more about him *wink, wink. He more than likely subscribes to the theory of "Ask 100 women to have sex with me and one will eventually say yes." That one woman will do it out of pity.

"Hi."

An hour later...

"No chance?"

If I didn't respond to you the first time, what the hell makes you think I will respond the second time?!

"You look like trouble ;)"

So says the guy with a tattoo of an AK-47 on his arm. Look I have nothing against military men or tattoos, but you're one to talk, considering the fact that you have a tattoo of an AK-47 on your arm!

Messages Recieved on 07/19/12:
"Time traveling ship captain huh.... Ill let you join my space ship transformer if i can ride your time traveler :D"

Oh sweet Jesus, this deserves a picture:


Riker says it for me.


"lmao are you serious"

Did you seriously just message me without checking your punctuation and without capitalizing the first word of the sentence?

"hi baby"

Very original.

These guys need to get schooled very badly. Then again, if they have come this far, then there is no hope.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Coming Off A Little Too Strong?

I think so:
Message received on 07/18/12:

"hi how are you doing tonight????? you are hot as hell are you single????? and you have sexy eyes and you have sexy smile too"



Please try to come up with something more original and interesting. File under "No Shit." And also are you questioning your attraction to me? If that is not the case then what is up with the excessive question marks?! Are you The Riddler or something. Please tell me you are The Riddler, because that would make you 100x more interesting.



We Have Found Ourselves The First Stud!

Here is the Stud of the week:
Message recieved on 07/18/12:

"Reporting for duty? I ready to sign up for an adventure and I'm a surly poet who loves to see the universe and all the odd life inhabiting it."

Aside from the slight grammatical error, this guy wins a cookie and +5 Internet.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Welcome! Here's a Triple Header

Hello and welcome to Online Dating: Buds, Duds or Studs!


Today I am going to give you a triple header so check these messages out and see if you would date any of these people:

Message received on 07/16/12:
"Yo, you're a wacko, but I like it. lol!"

Congratulations! You won the Biggest Twit of the Year Award!


Messages received on 07/17/12:

" Hi, you are really beautiful. It looks like you are a really great person inside and out. I would love to chat with you sometime. "


It looks like you are saying that just to get into my pants.


"You seem like a genuine, down to earth, easy going girl. I came on this site as a curiosity as to what's out there. Here I am exploring that curiosity I suppose. My profile is pretty detailed, but overall I'm a genuine, down to earth, easy going person. I'd love to chat if you are up for it."



Apparently you need to invest in a Thesaurus. And it also sounds like you want be in a relationship with yourself.


Here's a bonus one:

You sound just wild and crazy enough for me to be very interested in you.....I might want to be part of your "crew"....."

Sir, you deserve this:





So everyone, are these guys Buds, Duds or Studs? Let me know in the comments section.

Have fun and good luck!