Friday, January 4, 2013

Happy New Year: Here's a slew of goodies!

Happy New Year everyone and as always, the New Year is ripe with trolls:

Message received on 12/02/12:

"Eye Captain 

You seem like an interesting cat, though I am fairly certain you and I are interested in different lands and booty. 

It was a beautiful weekend for an airship ride, so I hope you got the Tesla up and running this weekend. 

Take care"

First and foremost it's "Aye" and also, I asked "how are you doing this fine weekend," you don't have to give me a goddamn Master's Thesis as to why you are not interested in me and don't assume that I am not interested in you. You just shot yourself in the foot, dumb ass and if you are not interested in communicating with me, either ignore it and move on, or respond kindly like "my weekend was lovely" and leave it at that.  

Message received on 12/04/12:

"I want to time travel with you. Where did you time travel too ? is that steam punk style"

Well I go to different time periods so catching up with me is quite difficult. Time travel can be part of steampunk but it's a main fixture in sci-fi.

Message Received on 12/10/12:

"Thanks for the laugh Capt. that shit is truly original. pick me up next time your heading to 5000BC!"

How about I pick you up in my airship and then kick you out and watch the dinosaurs enjoy eating your savory flesh, ok? Sounds like a date night to me.

Message received on 12/10/12:

"certainly I would love to buy you a drink.are they any spot for a chef on board.i could diffinetly do some special cooking.but anyway I want you to know that I really like you very much an I would like to get to know you better.i am here looking for that special one an I think it could be you.i love traveling an I think taking you on trips to the island would be fun.i am a island boy an I love a beautiful an fun person like you.leave me a line if your interested."

You know, a chef on the ship would be a fantastic idea now that I think about it...

Message received on 12/26/12:

now that was funny thanks"

Once again:

Message received on 12/26/12:

Ahoy, Captain! I really appreciate your profile. This isn't the kind of place I'd expect to find an interstellar explorer. I hope you find what you're looking for."

FINALLY!!!! Someone who appreciates my sense of humor and is willing to play along!

Message received on 01/03/13:

You are so cute, so gorgeous, so sexy"

Um, okay was there anything else you wanted to add? A simple "hello" suffices. Look anytime someone sends you a message like this, they just want to get laid and that's fine if that's what you are looking for but not if you want a relationship, point blank. If they are saying "hello" that's different.

And I iz done!

Happy New Year Everyone!

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