Monday, October 22, 2012

And I Have Returned...For Now.

Well it has been a busy few months with the moving, art shows, elections, world domination and what not, so when I checked my messages, I received a lot of treats, so to speak.

Messages received on 09/30/12:

"Im a sucker for a cute steam punk captain :) Besides you look hot in goggles . My name's______ (name has been redacted) and I know a thing or two about fixing robots . What kind of music are you into ?"

Actually, this one isn't too bad. It certainly isn't as lewd, trolly, or creepy as some of the ones I have received so far.

Messages received on 10/17/12:

"Hey besutiful"

.............What the fuck does "besutiful" mean? No really, what does this word mean? Is it word from another language? You know what, let me look this shit up in the dictionary. Give me five minutes.

*Comes back five minutes later.

Ok, either this guy made up a new word or he spelled "beautiful" hilariously wrong. Dude, you have a spellchecker, please use it! It makes you look more intelligent and cohesive when you spell words correctly!

"U look so familiar"

That's all you're going to say? Okay, I would you like for me to respond to that because I get that from a lot of people. I'm out and about a lot so...I have no clue really. Um...thanks, I guess?

"Wow! You are very sexy and I would love to get to know you better. Please check out my profile and write back if interested. I am very generous."

Uh...what do you mean by "very generous?" I'm confused and scared at the same time. Your profile pic doesn't help either because you look really creepy and I mean rapey creepy. 

Message received on 10/19/12:

Read away!.. hey you certified to carry that katana of yours..? Man you should come to dragoncon with me one of these days.. . What mission I must loot to meet you and what's your agenda? Love your profile"

Ok, let me answer a few things that this guy wrote in his ellipses filled paragraph. Yes I am qualified to carry my Katana. I will only go to DragonCon with friends, not with people I do not know, nor haven't met in real life (and even then, I would to see if we get along) and you're just going to have to work very hard to find me, just like all of the others because I am constantly on the go and traveling. I don't have any hidden agendas of any kind. I hope I have answered your questions thus far.

Man, they sure know how to woo me...

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